What happened to the frog when he double parked?
He got toad.
Dad are bugs good to eat? asked the boy..
Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table son, the father replied.
After dinner the father inquired - Now son , What did you want to ask me?
Oh! nothing , the boy said- There was a bug in your soup , but now it's gone.
Homedoggy and riverrat - Both jokes will be used!! Thanks.
What does the nosy pepper do?
It gets jallpeno business.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Dad: How do you like 4th Grade
Son: It isn't much fun.
Dad: That's too bad, It was the best 3 years of my life.
Happy Father's Day everybody !
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?.................. an investigator....
You do know when a joke becomes a dad joke, right?
When it becomes apparent.
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...
A man asked a child: How old is your father?
Child: As old as me.
Man: How is that possible?
Child: He became a father only when I was born.
A Gorilla, a Rabbi and a Ballerina walk into a bar, the bartender asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Joe- What does your father do for a living?
Jon-He's a magician, he performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Joe-Do you have any brothers and sisters.
Jon-Yey! four half sisters, and a half brother.
Why did the chicken go half way across the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work
Three hard-of-hearing chaps on a train pulling into Wembley Station.
Chap #1: "Is this Wembley?"
Chap #2: "No, it's Thursday."
Chap #3: "Me too, let's go get a drink."
From PG Wodehouse, Jeeves & Wooster
what do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat
Banned from the petting zoo
Just received a bottle of wine from my daughter which I am now consuming with gusto while I play Solitaire.Look out for record slow times.Are record slow times acceptable?Would those with the slowest time be accused of cheating?I await responses with baited breath.......Glug.......
I spelt bated wrong.That will teach me to drink and spell. And so to bed.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
People who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A dwarf fortune teller who escapes from jail is a small medium at large.
oh, you guys, I just read all of these and I ache from laughing, but I think that's a good thing.
I wrote this with a dull pencil ...so it's kinda pointless.
My wife says I have no sense of direction...
so I packed up my stuff and right.